Tomorrow will be my 26th birthday, and going into it I’ve had some interesting feelings as of late. While I was out in the field, JP and I had one of those phone conversations that lasts for hours and you talk about everything. Made me feel like we were dating again 🙂 He told me that he’s noticed that I’m starting to become more like the confident woman that he fell for 4 years ago.
When I met JP I was interning at a consulting firm in Houston and was on my way to getting a job right out of school. I felt like I was at the top of my game, and life was going awesomely and was excited at the prospect of working after graduating. That ended up changing right after we got engaged. The economy took a huge nose dive and I was out of luck getting a job in my field for a couple of years, and one begins to lose confidence after receiving so many rejection letters. I also had my support system ripped out from under my feet because two and a half weeks after we got married, we relocated to Indiana. I don’t blame JP for it at all. When you’re married to a graduate student you go where the programs lead you. So I got jobs to just get me by, made some friends, and then we went to Germany, and despite being married for a year, we were really on our own for the first time.
That year in Germany made me not only made me grow up and gain confidence, but I think it really helped solidify our marriage. There’s something unique about packing up your life into a single 50lb suitcase for a year with your husband and moving somewhere thousands of miles away from any family.
By the time we came back I felt like I had grown up, and was ready to take on the job search with a fresh face, and gosh darn it, I would get something this time because my plan was to force my way into getting interviews. Which of course worked in my favor.
Needless to say, looking at myself now vs when I was 23 I think I’ve come a LONG way, and I can only hope to continue to gain confidence as I get older. I still have my moments, which usually involve clothing… but I think I’m on the right track.
Also, while last year I thought 25 was a big birthday. After all, getting to 25 meant that I had been on earth for a quarter of a century. However, this year going into my birthday I feel like its a bigger deal. 25 was truly a bridge/transition year for me. I feel like up to this point I was still very much still a kid, and 26 really is the age, at least for me, where I’m going to be an adult. Looking forward I know that while there are still some ducks that need to line up before, there will be a little geek entering into our life within the next few years. Both of us have had that feeling about wanting kids soonish. That said, I know that I need to work on myself a little more before I can be the mother I want to be. And I need to be to the point where I have the confidence to do that.
So, here’s going being a grown up.
See you when I’m officially 26!